Partner Anthony
Heckstall-Smith
Queer Places:
Harrow School, 5 High St, Harrow, Harrow on the Hill HA1 3HP
The Ritz, 150 Piccadilly, St James's, London W1J 9BR
58 Spofforth St, Cremorne NSW 2090, Australia
George Hayim (December 30, 1920 - January 2, 2011) served in the Royal Navy
during World War II, and in his autobiography he summarised the difference
between the Army and the Navy during that difficult time: ‘In the Army
discomfort was inevitable, even if you never heard a shot go off. But in the
Navy one was always clean, warm and well-fed, unless, of course, you drowned.’
Hayim had a wonderful sense of humour, which appears to be common among
sailors, especially those who, like Hayim, were gay. George Hayim could have
avoided the war. His Russian mother and Iraqi-Jewish father were millionaires.
He had been born in Shanghai in 1920, so he was quite young, just 20, when he
joined the Navy in 1940. As he wrote in his autobiography, Thou Shalt Not
Uncover Thy Mother’s Nakedness (1988), he was attracted to the Navy’s ‘hard
men’ and navy blue uniform. Hayim spent much of his shore leave drinking
cocktails in the Lower Bar or ‘Pink Sink’ of the Ritz Hotel in Piccadilly.
This was a popular meeting place for homosexuals, and it was here that he was
picked up by the well-known dramatist
Terence Rattigan, then serving
as a tail gunner in the Royal Air Force. It was in Hyde Park that Hayim met
his principal wartime lover, Lieutenant Commander
Anthony Heckstall-Smith,
who had joined the Cleopatra after Hayim had left. Stationed at the naval
barracks in Southend, he informed Hayim that his father had been in charge of
George V’s yacht, Britannia. Hayim quite liked the idea of being with
‘royalty’ and Heckstall-Smith’s royal connection endeared him to Hayim’s
mother, who treated her son’s lover as any Society woman might treat a
gentleman who had shown a romantic interest in her marriageable offspring.
George and his mother tried to get Heckstall-Smith to tell them why he had
received the Distinguished Service Cross (DSC), one of the highest honours
that can be awarded in the Navy: ‘He was very British about it all: he said it
all had something to do with torpedo-boats in Crete.’
Born in Shanghai in 1920 to millionaire parents - a Russian mother, Flora
Kate "Mimi" Hayim, and Iraqi-Jewish father, Ellis Hayim, Hayim enjoyed an opulent and privileged upbringing. He studied at English private boys school Harrow. According to his autobiography, at Harrow he was in love with Keith Anthony Marsland Bennett had been admitted to Harrow in the last term of 1931 and left in the second of 1936, one after Hayim, having been a monitor and in the Rugby XV, so presumably an athletic hero. Later a Colonel, he was born on 25 November 1917, so he was 18, while Hayim was just 15.
Hayim served in the navy during World War II. Hayim published two books - Obsession (1970), about his passionate love-affair with a young Arab living in France, and Thou Shalt Not Uncover Thy Mother’s Nakedness (1988), an autobiography.
Known as the ‘Duchess of Cremorne’, George Hayim lived and died by his own rules, according to close friends. The openly gay man was a colourful Mosman identity, who called his lurid red house on Spofforth St home for about 30 years before dying aged 90 on January 2,
2011. Hayim’s long-term carer, Karen Lindley, said he died in his bed, listening to
Maria Callas, with his beloved great dane, Pushkin.
“He had no regrets, he died exactly as he wanted to,” said Lindley.
“He was flamboyant and eccentric and very wilful, but he was the most generous man.”
Hayim never worked a day in his life but instead travelled the world, pursuing his love of the arts.
“He used to spend seven months in Sydney, three months in Paris and three months in his London apartment,” said Lindley.
He was fluent in seven languages, could sing along with operas, and would often wander the streets of Mosman in his pyjamas or underpants.
A devoted fan of film and theatre, Hayim was seen at Cremorne Orpheum three times a week for decades.
“He was a meddler with a fabulous sense of humour,” Lindley said.
“Although he was gay he preferred the company of men with girlfriends.”
Neighbour and friend Kay Stammers said he entertained “a constant stream” of dignitaries, actors and artists at his home, including David Niven,
Noel Coward, Brigitte Bardot, Naomi
Watts and Greta Scaachi. Hayim’s last wish was that he have no funeral service
but his body be donated to the University of Sydney for the purposes of
science.
My published books:
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